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[Jock De Queaf]

11/02/...


Nov 2 1974

The Time Go-Go Club in Seoul, South Korea burns, killing 78. Six of the victims jumped six floors to their deaths. After the fire started, club officials barred the doors, suspecting a ruse by customers to avoid paying.

Nov 2 1984

Velma Barfield, convicted of killing her mother, her boyfriend and two others with rat poison in their food was put to death by lethal injection in Raleigh, N.C. Barfield was the first female executed in the US since 1962.

Nov 2 1988

The Internet Worm is released by Cornell grad student Robert Morris. His ingenious program was meant to explore the Internet harmlessly, but due to a bug, it crashed some 6,000 computers. Spaf parlays the incident into a career.

Nov 2 1995

The image of Jesus Christ appears to many people in a photo taken by the Hubble space telescope, depicting a gigantic gas plume 7000 light years from Earth. Some CNN viewers pointed out the image resembles Gene Shalit more than the Lord Saviour.

Nov 2 2003

Arrested Development debuts on the Fox network.


Birthdays

Burt Lancaster (1913-1994)
David Schwimmer (43)
Shahrukh Khan (44)
Peter Mullan (50)
Sean Kanan (43)
Jeff Hare (45)
Tim Kirkman (43)
Marisol Nichols (36)
Erika Flores (30)
Khaled Abol Naga (43)
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[Jock De Queaf]

11/03/...


Nov 3 1755

The colony of Massachusetts offers a 20 pound bounty for scalps of Indian boys or girls under the age of 12. Warrior scalps fetch a slightly higher price, 30 pounds.

Nov 3 1913

Income tax law signed without a single American citizen voting on it, making it technically illegal to inforce... but the public is to lazy, ignorant and cowardly to fight it.

Nov 3 1957



Laika the dog becomes the first living creature in space. She asphyxiated when oxygen in the Soviet Sputnik 2 ran out. However, some western researchers speculate that Laika roasted when the satellite's heat shields were detached.

Nov 3 1979

Diff'rent Strokes premieres on NBC. The cast's child actors have gone on to bigger and better things: Todd Bridges (arrests: drug possession, 1983; attempted murder, 1989; knife stabbing in self defense, no arrest, 1993; assault with a deadly weapon, 1997); Dana Plato (armed robbery, 1992, then a porno centerfold; dead of a drug overdose in 1999); Gary Coleman (a short, pudgy gun nut, numerous run ins with the law who plays Nintendo games; 2003 gubernatorial candidate).


Birthdays

Roseanne Barr (57)
Charles Bronson (1921-2003)
Dolph Lundgren (52)
Hal Hartley (50)
Julie Berman (26)
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[Festered]

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[Jock De Queaf]

Bronson would punch you in the mush for that
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[Jock De Queaf]

11/04/...


Nov 4 1963

At a Beatles command performance (present: Queen Elizabeth; the Queen Mother; Princess Margaret), John Lennon utters the remark: "Will the people in the cheaper seats clap their hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry."

Nov 4 1966

The Arno and Po rivers in Italy flood, submerging 2/3 of Florence. Irreplaceable renaissance art treasures and books were destroyed. 113 people died and 30,000 were rendered homeless.

Nov 4 1979



The US Embassy in Tehran is stormed by "students", holding 52 hostages for 444 days. The incident propels Ted Koppel and his magnificent hair onto the national scene with a long series of repetitive Nightline: America Held Hostage specials.

Nov 4 1986

The Iran-Contra Scandal is first reported in "Al Shiraa", an obscure Lebanese magazine. The public would come to learn that millions had been paid for US weapons and equipment for Iran in exchange for the release of American hostages in Lebanon. Profits were illegally channeled to the Contras fighting the Sandinista government in Nicaragua.

Nov 4 1993

A series of fires rage in Southern California, destroying 300 very expensive homes in Malibu and 700 homes scattered elsewhere. Damage totals $500M to $1B. Half of the large fires were arson.


Birthdays

Matthew McConaughey (40)
Art Carney (1918-2003)
Jeff Probst (47)
Doris Roberts (79)
Walter Cronkite (1916-2009)
Frederick Elmes (63)
Ralph Macchio (48 )
Sean 'P. Diddy douchebag' Combs (40)
Markie Post (59)
Kathy Griffin (49)
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[Jock De Queaf]

11/05/...


Nov 5 1605

Parliament is scheduled for detonation in the notorious Gunpowder Plot, in which Catholic conspirators attempted to roll back protestantism in England. Thirty-six barrels of black powder were uncovered in the cellar, and fuses were found in Guy Fawkes' pocket. In consequence, Fawkes was beheaded. Britains now celebrate his death with warm beer and fireworks.

Nov 5 1975



Logger Travis Walton is abducted by aliens near Snowflake, Arizona and is missing for five days. Aliens performed "various experiments" on the abductee. Needless to say, Walton finds the experience immensely lucrative as his experiences are chronicled in the mediocre book Fire in the Sky and a film by Paramount.

Nov 5 1979

Ayatollah Khomeini declares the US to be "The Great Satan". In return, Time Magazine later selects the ayatollah "Man of the Year".

Nov 5 1994

Ronald Reagan announces that he has Alzheimer's. For some people it merely confirms what they suspected all along. [Trivia question: Which 1980's president fell asleep at an audience with the Pope?]


Birthdays

Sam Rockwell (41)
Famke Janssen (45)
Robert Patrick (51)
Judy Reyes (42)
Armin Shimerman (60)
Corin Nemec (38 )
Tilda Swinton (49)
Vivien Leigh (1913-1967)
Tatum O'Neal (46)
Sam Shepard (66)
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[Jock De Queaf]

11/06/...


Nov 6 1962



Dick Nixon loses the governor's election in California, proclaiming to the nation, "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more." (This was a full decade prior to "Lick Dick in '72".) so he was just lying about that too

Nov 6 1985

Hugh Hefner's Playboy Club in New York City admits topless male bunnies.

Nov 6 1988

Beatle/boozehound Ringo Starr checks into an alcohol rehabilitation center. While many consider Ringo the least talented Beatle, he has shown exceptional acting ability in his "Atouk zug zug Lana" role (Caveman, 1981).

Nov 6 1989

Kitty Dukakis, wife of Presidential candidate and Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis, is hospitalized for drinking rubbing alcohol. According to Hunter S. Thompson, "She was a really good advertisement for speed for twenty-six years."

Nov 6 1996

In Vicente Guererro, Mexico, the family of Eduardo Quihua Maquixtle, including four children, are stabbed by three men who accuse them of witchcraft.

Nov 6 2002

Actress Winona Ryder found guilty of shoplifting, after she lifted $5500 in crap from Saks Fifth Avenue on Wilshire Boulevard. Among the merchandise she stole was a $760 sweater and $600 hair decorations. And an $80 pair of socks.


Birthdays

Sally Field (63)
Mike Nichols (78 )
Thandie Newton (37)
Rebecca Romijn (37)
Emma Stone (21)
Ethan Hawke (39)
Peter DeLuise (43)
Kelly Rutherford (41)
Mike Edmonson (54)
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[Festered]

[Jock De Queaf]

11/09/...


Nov 9 1888



Mary Jane Kelly, a 25 year old hooker, falls victim to Jack the Ripper. Mary's face had been mutilated; her breasts had been removed and she had been disemboweled. Her various internal organs were scattered about.

Nov 9 1953

Dylan Thomas drinks himself to death.

Nov 9 1971

John Emil List, a "deeply religious" Lutheran, kills his mother, wife, and three teenage children. He is not found until 1988, living with a new improved family as Robert P. Clark in Richmond Virginia.

Nov 9 1997



Michael Paul Lookinland, aka "Bobby" from the Brady Bunch, charged with drunk driving in St. George, Utah. With a BAL of 0.258, the 36 year old former child star was very drunk.

Nov 9 2005

After being shuffled around the weekly schedule, Fox television executives give up on Arrested Development and release the last four episodes in a two-hour block. The show does not go on despite interest from rival networks ABC and Showtime.

Nov 9 2346

Romulans commit an atrocity now known as the Khitomer Massacre, slaughtering over 4,000 Klingons on an agricultural colony. Worf and Kahlest are the only two to survive.


Birthdays

Dorothy Dandridge (1922-1965)
Nikki Blonsky (21)
Bille August (61)
Lou Ferrigno (58 )
Hedy Lamarr (1914-2000)
Nick Lachey (36)
Eric Dane (37)
Robert David Hall (62)
Gabrielle Miller (36)
Alex Infascelli (42)
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[Festered]